Today I give you my heart and my thoughts
I can honestly tell you that I only decided to open up to you all, because I called my little sister first. (3 years apart) My sister knows me BEST, my sister knows my heart, my sister gets to hear it all.. the good the bad… and the super ugly. Most of all my sister PICKS ME UP, and I laugh some tears
(you know when you are laugh crying) and then I tell her… “See this is why you are my sister!” because you say the perfect thing. YOU GET IT!
You see I have been lost in a place for sometime now, a place I cannot seem to get out of just yet. (now bawling) I feel like my love for creating and sharing has gone. I can’t remember the last time I was on a crafting creating high and was giddy with passion and love for a new project I thought of.
I cannot remember the last time I felt this way, I think my Mr. Block Head Frank I made this past Halloween was the last time I was on a giddy creative high. Anyway, as I explained my thoughts to my sister and threw in my dislike for being a mother these last few weeks too…. my sister replied with, “You aren’t feeling rewarded for all your hard work and efforts!” She was right, my blog doesn’t get near the page views and stats that it used to. To the point where it’s depressing. My kids don’t understand that I do so much for them, and they can just turn around and destroy it all. They are growing up and not as cuddly and loveable as I need them to be. At the end of the day I feel like I have worked so hard and have done so much, both my blog and being a mother that I don’t get the reward or pat on the back that I feel I deserve.
These feelings have been consuming me. I have thought should I keep blogging? I need to spend more time with my children like I did before my blog? Maybe I need to prioritize my time better? Maybe I should take a break from blogging? Call my mother more, and plan more lunch dates with her. All these feelings and thoughts have been running through my mind. As I continued to talk with my sister and listen to her genuine counsel. She said “Don’t you ever give up on your blog!” That is you! That is your creative outlet, That is your hobby, That is something you love so much. If you stopped creating and blogging you would feel even more miserable and unhappy. She was right! SHE ALWAYS IS!
So my response to her was that I would continue doing it because I love it and I believe I am good at it. My sister also reminded me that I am an example to my kids. They love it when I create a vignette and decorate for the holidays, it makes them so happy and gets them so excited. Bella will even pull out her crayons and coloring books when I am crafting. She will tell me that she wants to be mom one day. (heart swell)
Creative Mother to another….
We talk a lot about being a big supportive community but I think we can do better then we know we can. I know this because when I host my link parties, I visit link’s where I am the only one that will comment, or that has commented. It bums me out that really creative woman and their creative work aren’t getting the recognition that bigger bloggers get. I find this to be a disappointment as we all need that reward and pat on the back, at the end of the day from all our hard work. I will also say that manage your creating and blogging around your kids school schedules and what have you. I would also say to not get wrapped up in the numbers (working on it) remember that you are GREAT, that you are CREATIVE, that you are an EXAMPLE, and you do INSPIRE others.
I hope I have made sense today, and I also hope that you know this took a lot for me to click publish. Finally I love you all so much. If you comment and you don’t hear from me, please know that its nothing personal at all, and that I am going to do my best to comment more. I read all your comments even the anonymous ones. I do my very best to visit you especially during the link parties, and finally I am so happy to be amongst thousands of creative woman.
As a newer follower to your blog, I am inspired by your creativity and gathered ideas from past posts, but be sure you are doing this for YOU and that it makes you happy:)
Thank you for this. There are so many of us bloggers and moms that feel the same way. Thanks for sharing and thanks for being real, that’s what draws us readers to you anyway, (and of course your cute crafts) so keep up the great work.
Tami @ Curb Alert!
Thanks for being so open and honest, Jen! When I picked my “one little word” for 2012 as BALANCE I didn’t realize how hard it would be! I don’t make a cent from my blog and my hubby doesn’t understand it in the slightest … but if you’re like me, do it because it makes your heart happy!!
I love your blog and your sense of style. Maybe you need to remind yourself why you started all this in the first place….is it to see high follower #’s, see all the graphs with traffic to your site or is it to share your love of crafts, to have great content, to be true to yourself? Sometimes saying NO to another outside invite, means saying yes to keeping thing real and not becoming overwhelmed. We love you!
How often do we pass on the advice of not looking at the number but yet it is one of the most important things to us!
I agree with you there should be more interaction, more support but I have just got back from a week away to over 800 new posts on my reader so I do admit to skimming a lot of that content.
Dont give up. x
This was a great post. So open and honest. That can be really hard to do, but we all appreciate your bravery in voicing your true feelings. Because so many of us feel this way. Big and small bloggers alike (I would be a small blogger). But like you said, it can’t all be about the numbers. You started blogging because you wanted to share a piece of you. As long as you keep doing that, then you really can’t go wrong.
xo,
Katie
I’m a new follower as well. I’ve erased my comment several times trying to figure out how to say it. But, all I can say is I’m with you. I completely agree. Hang in there. You’re amazing!
Brilliant post! Thanks for reminding us all that the minute or two that it takes to comment on a post that we appreciate/ are drawn to/ or has a craft that we like can really make a difference to the poster.I have had your blog in my google reader for a long time now, but do not know if I have ever posted and I apologize for that. Thanks for continuing to share your creativity with us all!
I absolutely love your blog! And I know I don’t comment often (very rarely) but I love your projects and I’m inspired by your creativity. Thank you for sharing your world with us!!
Hang in there Jen and thanks for being so honest – it’s quite refreshing actually!
I’m crossing my fingers that you’ll wake up tomorrow, or some day soon and feel the love again…X
Very nicely said. There’s something about seeing comments on our blogs that keeps us going and keeps us motivated. I don’t always comment on blogs (I’m busy, blah, blah, blah), so I realize there are people out there who just browse on through like I do. Keep blogging! It’s good for us and it’s good for you. I totally enjoy your blog.
I love your blog and sometimes you are my only commenter when I link to your party and I love you for it!
Just a thought from an older mom. You just had a baby. You might have some postpartum depression. I did with my second and didn’t know it. I just knew that I loved my family but everything seemed less joyful.
Lisa
great post 🙂
Jen, you definitely hit home today. I feel like this sometimes too…paralyzed. Like I want to create, but am paralyzed by my fear of rejection…what if nobody likes it, what if nobody comments, then I kick myself in the booty and move past it. Sometimes it’s easier, sometimes not. I think when you are riding high like you do, and things slow down a little, we take it uber personally. I know I do. Maybe if you took some pressure off of yourself it wouldn’t be so bad. I do that…take a little pressure off, maybe a little break, then I don’t feel so overwhelmed. Well, I love ya, and hope you get out of your funk!
Jessica @ Mom 4 Real
Wow this is the second post today I read that makes me feel like I can really relate.
You get delivered straight to my email. So I generally find myself reading from my email instead of taking the time to click on the link from my email and actually posting a comment. So trust me..I am here reading and very much enjoying your blog! But maybe I should make it a goal to comment more.Being an ex blogger I know how good it felt to see someone comment.
Thank you, Jen. You are so open & honest. That’s one of the things I love about your blog. I’m so happy you aren’t giving up on blogging. You are a source of inspiration for me & my blogging endeavours & you are a wonderful example of a gracious blogger. Your comments are so thoughtful & sincere & I’m thankful to have had several from you in the past. Keep up the great work. You are loved & appreciated!!
~Steph @ Silver Boxes
It’s inspiring for you to post this. This post is the reason why you should continue to blog. Even if no one read it, you were able to express your feelings and vent. I actually just posted something similar. I had to remind myself why I started blogging in the first place- for me. I hope for my sake you keep it going…Always following.
Kimberly
http://pinterestreality.blogspot.com/2012/04/breath-relax-enjoy.html
Jen – Thank you for putting your heart out there and being so open! I am not a blogger, but I am a Mom that likes to be creative, so I can understand where you are coming from.
Like another comment, I usually read your blog through my email, so I don’t comment very often. I will start commenting though, because I LOVE your blog so much!
I know it was hard to write this, but thanks for sharing your feelings. I have battled blogging and balancing and have had similar thoughts. I’m an empty nester, I can’t imagine doing all that you do with children at home. My son is 23, when I told him I thought I’d quit, he talked me out of it and I’m glad he did. I’ve really been working on balancing and it has helped. Best of luck to you,
Debbie
I’m so glad you are going to keep blogging…I’ve been reading your blog for such a long time, It’s one of my favorites!! I didn’t understand “following” for the longest time until I started my own blog. I wouldn’t click the follow button, I’d just add the link to my side bar. Thanks for all of your inspiration & for sharing all that you do!
Sally
U inspire me!! Do Not quit!
Love this post Jen. I don’t know how you do it all, but you do it well, and I hope you never give up. Just be yourself and that’s what will shine through. You are awesome!
ive been there
Read the book THE FIVE AGREEMENTS
it changed everythjng for me
I know just how you feel! I’ve been blogging “seriously” for 3 years now, and my GFC number is only at half of what yours is. My stats are also really low right now. I think it has to do with the influx of blogs out there. If you don’t link up to 92 blog parties a week (and I don’t), you’re just not “out there.” I’m trying to quit comparing and feeling low about it. I blog for me, ultimately.
Chin up, you’re fabulous!
I loved this post today, Jen. You basically said everything that has been in my head and on my heart the past couple weeks…I just couldn’t figure out a way to say it so well 🙂 You are an inspiration and always remember that!! Love you’re honesty and openness- thanks for being such an inspiration to look up too!
Thank you Jenn for saying what so many of us want to say but don’t! I have been trying to build my blog and I visit other blogs often and with three active girls {3, 5, and 13…oh how I just aged myself..lol!} I don’t always have the time to comment. I try to remember the linky party…going on my calendar…I LOVE to create beautiful things…some originals some revamped versions of others…I love to share what I create so I blog… Keep blogging…keep creating…Create beautiful thing even if no one else cares…there is always someone who sees it and smiles! Thank you Jenn!
I just want to say Thank You for being real and honest. I know I love it when people are honest because if we are honest with you right back, we have probably been there too(or somewhere close enough to empathize with you). I am new to the blogging world, but I have totally been there with the whole motherhood not feeling as satisfying and as much of a pat on the back as we need. It is quite the job and takes so much to do! Sometimes it can just suck the life out of you. I know I have so been in that space as far as motherhood goes and it is hard. It seems like so much else takes on those feelings during those phases. I wish you all the best as you move forward. AND your sister is right… this blogging is part of you and part of your creative outlet! I second her recommendation to not give it up. That doesn’t mean you can’t change things up…but I think she is right. I know that is why I enjoy blogging at this time…it is such a great outlet! Thanks again!
Hey Hon, you great mom,wife blogger& ,crafter,I don’t blog I read & signed up to bloggers love look at things & what ladies are doing,I’ve answered bloggers which most don’t answer back.But I know they busy with alot things in their lives.I’m 67 yrs. old have feeling you have, kids grown married 2 gs go school have their friends ,see what saying..Pick up those great ideas & think about people you do make happy.Get with it kiddo !!! lol,lol,lol,
Great post! Thanks for sharing and being real!!! You’re blog is one of my faves!!!
I look at your blog almost every day and I love it. Hugs!
Awww, I’m SO slow with reading my posts today, but just know that I can completely relate! I’ve had a lot of internal talks with myself the past couple months about balance. It’s a tricky thing and there are bound to be peaks and valleys! You’re doing a great job and look at how many women are here today holding you up! Your heart must be filled to the brim tonight!
[HUGS!!!] I am sorry that you are in such a rough spot, but we all have them and it will pass. It sounds like your sister knows how to help and I want you to know I love your blog as always!!
It was nice meeting you at SNAP and I wish we would have had more time to chat!
Jen, we love you and your blog! We are inspired by you all the time and while we don’t comment NEARLY as often as we should, we would hate it if you left the blogging community.
I love how open and honest you are.
Jen
It’s all so true…the many things you have said. My friends and I have been having discussions about finding our passions…many of us have kids in college and aren’t really sure what our next step in life is or what will bring us joy! Sometimes it is good to step back and take a break and it will come back to you! Believe in what you do and you will again find joy in it!
Susan
It’s funny, just the other day, even on my very small blog, I realized how few people are reaing it now. I think Pinterest has stolen the fun from blogs BUT I love blogs – they allow you to get to know the real person. I really enjoy your blog and enjoy you!
You are always so sincere in your posts and I love that. It’s not easy being a stay at home mom, it is the hardest job some days. To have such a successful blog on top of raising 4 children is amazing. Please know that we all love you and will support you no matter what! Please don’t quit, I would miss you so! Hugs to an amazingly creative, beautiful and precious mama! 🙂
Thank you for sharing your heart and thoughts. I, like everyone else here, understand what you mean. I went through a recent blog slump, but finally made the realization that I blog only for me. It is MY hobby, MY creative outlet. Of course, I want people to read, but whether they choose to or not is their perogative. It shouldn’t effect me personally.
Still, I agree that support is important. I would love to make some friends through blogging and I’m trying to find ways to not only reach out, but to also connect women together. We need that so much.
Anyway, sorry for the ramble. Thank you for all you do. You are awesome!
Jennie
Don’t be too discouraged, please! The world is changing, and not in the best of ways. Having blogged on and off since 2007 bloggers who I noticed recieving tons of comments are now barely getting any. My assumption is that as all the bloggers kids are growing family demands are too, the economy certainly has impacted (many don’t craft as before), Pinterest!!!, and so many other things I haven’t even thought of. In my opinion the whole followers things has disturbed many fellow bloggers, hence so many get wrapped up in numbers. Many who follow to win prizes will seldom visit and very seldom leave comments between prizes. I guess to have contact with those who genuinely like you for you is far better then meaningless comments. First and foremost in your heart I believe is your family as it should, so relax sweet one and in time the creative juices will inspire again! And yes how well I know the feeling of doing and never getting acknowledged, for that I offer no answer, but if I ever find one I’ll be sure to let you know! Kick back, relax and breathe in Spring my dear! Find a away to bring back your inner child, live for you! Love,Lori
Ur post has come just in time Jen… that’s exactly how I am feeling too !! kid and a day job… leaves me totally exhausted to sit and create something…but still I continue to hang in there as that is the only outlet I have.
As you sister rightly mentioned…. We would feel even more miserable if we dont blog.. I keep telling my self only one thing… I am here only because I love not to win some ones appreciation or win challenges… So do when I feel like and post when I find time… wht ever it is… I continue to do wht I like most….
Just wanted you to know that I have your blog listed on my favorites, so I usually read it every other day. Sometimes I pin your ideas, too. It would be interesting to check when you posted your post about your eyebrows. Wondering if it might have been a similar time of the year or some other connection to this one.
I {love} this post! I have been feeling so many if the same feelings. A have been so so busy with a move and I feel like at the sane time my creative flow just stopped. In the last month I have spent all of my time moving our things and taking care of my 3 kids. Just before we decided to move I was doing the best ever on my blog and for the first time, I really felt like “I am doing it! ” and now with not being able to write everyday, it create, my numbers have gone down drastically and it feels like Im back to square 1. My kids have been very tough on me lately and I’ve been having some marriage troubles. So the one thing that I was feeling was mine, and feeling in control of, making me smile everyday (my blog lol) and understood me….is falling apart a bit at the same time. I think that you are also right when it comes to supporting eachother. The other night, I spent the evening linking up to a blog hop. When through as many as I had time for, browsed through more than one post and commented on each. And I didn’t get one follower from it….not even the hosts. Thank you for opening up. Lately these sort of post have been my favorite because they are reminders that the person behind all of the wonderful creations is a REAL person!
What a great post! You really inspired me, so I wrote a post about you on my blog
http://trixih.blogspot.com/2012/04/craft-o-maniac.html
Hope you like it 🙂
I’ve just found you Jen through the magazine Mollie Makes. Thank you for being open and sharing your feelings. It must have been a hard thing to do. I love the things you make and do.
You are a fabulous blogger with a true creative streak! Recently I’ve read other bloggers state similar thoughts about their blogs — that they aren’t getting the feedback that they used to. Interesting…
I know what you mean about feeling a little “wrung out” creatively. I get that way too every once and awhile and then something will come along to pick me back up — something I can get excited about! I often take breaks now and then — for a week or so — usually when I travel or have company. It helps fuel enthusiasm and creativity. Blogging isn’t our lives — it’s just something we fill the time with. Family and faith are the more important things! ;o)
Thanks for sharing. Just remember life ebbs and flows and there will be times when you will feel this way, but it will pass. Just know that I love your blog & enjoy reading your posts. I don’t always have time to comment, but you have a talent and I truly appreciate you sharing it with us. Follow your heart & keep smiling!!
I love your blog. You have no idea how much you inspire me with your creativity. thank you for sharing your style and creativity with me.
Jen-
Your awesome! You were one of the first blogs I started reading and you inspired me to start my own blog. I wish I wasn’t so start struck at SNAP because I would have loved to get to know you better-I just got to shy!
Just know that if you decide you need a break-take it! Your readers love you, and we’ll be here when you get back 🙂
Kari
Newlyweds on a Budget
Well said, Jen. Thank you for sharing this!! I have been feeling the same way and I’m glad to know I’m not alone!! You are amazing and I’ve always and will always be a big fan!! Keep up the great work.
You are wonderful! I appreciate and love your creativity! You are sunshine on a rainy day. Keep up the good work, you are good at it! This is something that belongs to you. It is something you’ve created. We all need the creative outlet, just like your sister is telling you!
Thanks for sharing your honest thoughts. I too struggle with this, and have often been tempted to stop blogging and crafting because maybe it would make life easier for me, and I’d feel less mommy guilt and wife guilt. But I know there would be a part of me missing. I’m glad you have someone to talk to about this, and of course, your readers love and support you as well!
I just wanted to say I hear ya. Sometimes I start to think about what posts might bring the most traffic and what I should do next. I went for a long vacation and decided that I wasn’t being very authentic and I didn’t like. The whole point of my blog was to post about what I already do – or want to do – with my family. If I make a little money on the side, great. But the truth is I want it to be real. I have some huge projects I want to tackle around my house – that’s what I should be doing. Not something that I think might get more traffic. I love to change my holiday decor up and my blog just helps me do it on time 🙂
Anyway, just wanted to say hi and send you some virtual love. Once again I saw your whole family at church but you must have been visiting inside still. One day I will be lucky enough to actually see you!
Hugs!
Lisa
This post truly proves that there is no time limit to the power of our words. I really needed to read your heart today, thank you so much for being vulnerable enough to speak the truth that so many of us carry buried deep inside. You have affirmed how I have been feeling lately and helped me to shake the silly negative lies that keep me from moving forward. See, your blog does impact, motivate and bless and for that I am truly grateful:)