No Foo Foo post today, Just a mom talking on an important subject "Bullying!"
Thanks to The Bully Project for sponsoring my writing. Visit their website to join the movement and learn more.
If I were to talk about bullying I would have to go back several years ago ……
to when my oldest was “5” years old. It was the very first encounter I had as a parent with bullying. My kids to this day still have run ins with bullying and we talk to them regularly about what to do. Now that I am talking about bullying, I get and understand kids can be kids, but to me there is a level that kids should never cross. Kids should be taught what is wrong and right, what is to far, what is naughty what is nice. They should start learning this as soon as they are walking. 😉
So back to my then son at 5 years old. During this particular time in his life he had a real LOVE for “Superman” HUGE LOVE! His grannie even made him a special Superman cape and sent it to him in the mail. He wore it regularly, loved watching his dads Superman movies, and would run around the house pretending he was Superman. He would play with his superman doll and make him fly too. It was plain “AWESOME!”
One day hubby and I loaded up Bella and Preston and headed to McDonald’s for a nice play day and some lunch. A kids mini Disneyland, right? We ordered, sat, and started eating. It was a fairly busy day that day. Lots of kids and parents/guardians around. Preston and Bella had been playing for sometime. After a while I heard Preston crying. It took awhile for me to tune into “his cry” (we all know our kids cry!) I might add that Preston is and always has been a really good kid, he has a very mild temperament, and is a sweet bright boy. So I called for him several times, asking him if he was OK? or what was wrong? I asked him to please come down. He finally came down off the playground and over to me. He was holding his arm and missing some socks. I asked him what happened? He told me that “3” boys were kicking him, punching him, pulling his hair, clawing his arms, and they tore off his socks and threw them. I was beside myself with a rage I had never felt before. This was beyond a small tiff or a kid being a kid and you just moving on. This was darn right MEAN, IT WAS “BULLYING”. I don’t take crap so I asked Preston who the kids were, I had him point to them, OH’ MY’ they were much older and bigger then him by at least 2 years. “RAGE!” I was able to track down the parent/guardian. I marched up to her with my son and said your boys just beat up my son, ripped his socks off, and drew blood on his arm, they owe him an apology. The woman was a little caught off guard and told me she was their aunt. She called the boys over and had them apologize. I guess you can say it was an OK apology, but we were out of there, or I was going to draw blood… kidding …
As we walked out to the car my sweet little boy said with his head held low and with a soft voice…….
” I guess I’m not Superman anymore…. their Superman!”
Oh’ my heart was crushed, how could those brats take my sons confidence away. I climbed in the car shrunk down in my seat held my breath and cried. I didn’t want Preston to see how upset I was. I took a deep breath and both Kevin and I assured him that he was absolutely Superman! That Superman isn’t a bully, he saves, helps, and protects people. That he is a nice man. That he was most defiantly Superman, not them. Preston was getting into his seat and buckling up, he was still clearly shaken by the three of them attacking him. Hubby and I did everything to comfort him, assure him that he is great, and to uplift his confidence once again.
See bullying DESTROYS kids confidence, it makes them feel worthless, useless, not important, invisible. It’s a huge part of why so many commit suicide. Bullying is everywhere and it doesn’t matter the age. From very young to very old. We need to pay attention more, we need to listen to our children, we need to watch them for signs of depression. We need to ask them everyday how they are doing, how their day was? We need to love and encourage them as much as we can. “A daily good dose!” WE NEED TO LOVE MORE!
WE NEED TO TEACH our CHILDREN everyday to use nice words, be nice, love one another, help one another, reach out, be a friend, smile, and be kind.
I REMEMBER this GREAT billboard in Vegas (yes there was a good one) years ago when I lived there. I loved it so much and it always stood out to me.
IT READ-
“ONE RACE, THE HUMAN RACE!”
bullying is prejudice too. WE ARE ALL HUMAN- ONE RACE!
Here is a Trailer for the movie “BULLY”
I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective. Find showings in your area for The Bully Project and buy tickets here.
I got a little teary eyed. I have a three year old boy and I would’ve been FURIOUS if that happened to my baby. Oh I’m so sorry your sweet sweet boy had to experience that ugliness! Good to see you speaking out against bullying! I agree that parents need to teach their kids kindness and what lines they should never cross. Good post!
I was teary eyed too! OMG I WOULD have drawn blood if it were MY kid.. I DO have a temper, and boy oh boy I dont know if I would have the self control you had! Boy little guy, I couldnt imagine! 🙁
Its so sad how mean kids and even some adults can be! Wow, that movie trailer is scary… So sad.
I’m am so glad you posted this. Thank you. That comes from deep down I am so sorry your lil one had to deal with this. Very sad that it had to come to that. You handled it very well for its the hardest thing to see our children go thru this. This really hits home for me. Deeper than my own daughter was being bullied and numerous attempts to talk with the principal did not seem to help. Recently my daughters good friend committed suicide from being bullied because he was gay. He was only in the 8th grade. It has turned our whole world upside down. She first met him in the 3rd grade. He was one if the first to befriend her. He lit up the room when he came in. Always happy and always friendly. No one knew anything was wrong. Or shall I say the school system did but chose to be blind from it. The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do was tell her that he was gone. His parents talked to him regularly. He always said everything was fine. We also need to remember our kids will not tell us everything. But we still need to asks daily. The school system is also at fault. We need to pay more attention on so many different levels. Teach your kids right from wrong. Talk to them every day. Listen to them. Be involved not only in their home life but what’s going on at school too. Thank you so much for posting this again. We can reach so many people if we just keep spreading the message. My daughter and her friends have a fb page the anti bullying club. Please visit it and give them some advice if you can. Thanks.
I really appreciate you writing this post on bullying. I have been so upset lately about the bullying and the effects from it having experienced it almost daily with my daughter. I have been trying to spread the word about how horrible this makes kids {and their mommas} feel about themselves! Thank you Thank you thank you!
Please feel free to stop by and meet my special girl at my blog
tiarasandbowties.blogspot.com
With heartfelt thanks to you!
Kim
Jen,
Thanks for writing this post and for keeping us in the know. My heart just broke for your Superman (and for his mama). I wish every child had the opportunity to have a thoughtful and nurturing parent like yourself.
Take care,
Trish
I’m really eager to see this movie and see it get more exposure. This topic needs to be talked about. We need to discuss it with kids and with adults. Everyone has a bullying story they can share. And nearly everyone has a story of when they or a loved one was a victim of bullying. We must remember that the bullies themselves are often victims of bullying (maybe adults bullying them). I think parents, teachers, and adults are all responsible for teaching children about bullying and the forms it can take (online, physical, verbal) and what to do to get it to stop. Sadly, sometimes there isn’t a clear answer to end bullying. Thanks for posting this.
This brought tears to my eyes. I have been bullied as a kid and yes, it had an impact in my confidence. My son has been bullied at school, and one day we saw that kid that was much older at Walmart, My son started to hide from him, and when I asked he told me about the bully. I actually saw the bully pointing fingers at my son like saying “I am watching you” ok, I lost it by then. I immediately went to this kid and his mom and told him “Hey kid look at me now, I AM WATCHING YOU, so you stop this right now.” And his mom, instead of talking to me started yelling at her son saying”what did you do!” and then I understood, maybe he has problems at home, but still dos not have the right to bully others. This kind of kids that bully are in so much pain that want the others to feel their pain too. It would be great if parents could recognize the signs of bully so they can get treatment ASAP. So I can understand you. When this happened I cried and cried. I assured my baby that they are the ones who have a problem, and that he is loved, very much so. You son will always be Superman! And you will always be his supermom.
Love this post, we need to speak out aginst bullying. Your story broke my heart when I thought about your little boy thinking that he wasn’t superman anymore.
Thank you for your post! I, too, got teary eyed…but not when the kids were bullying your son…but when his confidence was broken. That is the most damaging part of being bullied…the smacks, punches, and scratches go away, but so does the child’s confidence. I ask my kids all the times about bullies in their school…and about being a bully themselves. They know that we will help them in any way we can if there are bullies…and have zero tolerance for them if they become one. I think parents and schools need to wake up and start taking bullying seriously. Parents can nip this if they all talk to their kids and not tolerate it if their kids are the bullies. I tell my kids…if you are doing something to someone that you or others think is funny, but that person don’t think its funny…STOP! Anything past that is bullying.
Again, thank you for your post and I can’t wait to watch the movie with my kids!
It is heartbreaking when someone hurts our child. Where do bullies learn to behave this way? Sadly, at home in most cases I think.
Your son is a beautiful boy and is lucky to have such loving, caring parents!
That story breaks my heart! Your Superman looks like such a sweet kid, I’m sorry he (and you) had to go through that. My son still has scars on his face from a little girl in the McDonald’s Playland from 4 years ago! I wasn’t quite as calm as you. I went up in the Playland to retrieve her and took her to her mother! Anyway, thank you for posting this.
Jennie
In the late 60’s and early seventies I was changed forever! I was bullied daily at school, and was afraid to tell. Today at 51 the scars run deep, I still am anxious meeting people, groups, work, school, speeches etc! I was called names, stolen from, pushed, pulled and hit, my clothing would be dirtied, my lunches stolen etc.Today I have so much so deal with with the loss of my son, my husbands M.S, my sons Aspergers. Sure I find ways to cope, but not like those around me. Afterall I’ve been through as a adult I can never erase the pain, bullying has alered my life. It literally sickens me to see this, I have interupted many confrontatons I have seen (sometimes worrying if my own butt is gonna be kicked) to help others. I even one time stepped up to a big guy in a grocery store who was berating his wife for too many aisles! I CAN NOT tolerate it! When I hear the STUPID comment, “kids will be kids” it sickens me. Two years ago for Psych. class I did 20 pages of research on the topic, it continues into college, employment and marriage as well. Jenn, all I can do is offer you my heart and compassion, and support. Please read any and everything you can get your hands on, many new books on empowering your children in a mean world are coming out daily. Today as before, those mean little words can break a childs view on themselves that never goes away. Please give Superman a kiss from nana in Indiana, this breaks my heart that such a sweet boy from such a beautiful family was treated so bad! I hope he never faces such evilness again, but sadly he may. Too many parents become such for reasons I’ll never understand!! parenthood does mean you raise your kids! Love you, Lori P.S Don’t forget that kiss!
Dont know what it is about Mcdonalds & bullies but my son was attacked in much the same way at one recently too. It made me so mad since my hubby was there & I wasn’t & my hubby is much nicer than I am when it comes to putting your hands on my kids. I dont hate much of anything in life but I seriously hate bullies & have no tolerance for them. I just came across a great movement for just about everything & it’s the I won’t stand for….. movement check it out here on fb http://www.facebook.com/charactersunite & their website here http://www.charactersunite.com/. Im going to make my family some of the shirts since I can’t find where you can purchase them yet.
That was a powerful post. Thanks for sharing that story. I think as Moms we have all had a bully crush our kid’s confidence and steal away their self esteem. I blame the parents of the child more than the child. Parents need to step when in their kid’s behavior is inappropriate and make it clear that it’s no acceptable. It really bothers me when I see parents not getting involved or even being “proud” of their child for being so aggressive. I’m sorry that happened to your son but it sounds like you handled it perfectly. xoxo Malia
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